Crushing Crushing Pain
by SilenceIsCompliance
Summary: This story is little shots of time around Fred's funeral. Angelina is comforting George is creative ways. Rating for a little making out at the end. Kinda sad.


"He-ee-ee's gone" George sobbed. He'd lost all of his joy, his happiness, his completeness. His other half was gone. His partner in action wasn't with him anymore. He listened to him mum cry and couldn't help but think that she couldn't possibly feel the level of pain that he was going through. Fred had been with him every second of his life and now he was gone. He died laughing. They had always said that was how they wanted to die but it was still so hard. He died in the hands of a death eater. Percy was with him. Why couldn't he have died? He was the prat that abandoned the family. Why did it have to be his twin? How was he going to do the joke shop without him? How was he going to prank people without him? How was he going to breathe without him? It felt like a huge weight was pressed against his body making it so he couldn't breathe. As soon as he looked in a mirror he would get a reminder of his late twin. He had just lost his best friend and twin. He didn't think he would be able to get through it.

It was Fred's funeral. He had to give a speech and he was just going to wing it. The minister called him up and he made his way through the tear stained people trying to tell himself that Fred would have wanted him to be happy. Once he reached the podium he just said what he felt.

"As I was walking up here I was thinking that Fred would have wanted us to be happy and move on with our lives. He would have wanted me to get up here and make fun of all of you for having red-rimmed eyes and tear stained faces. However, I am not one to talk right now because I am in a worse state. Fred meant the world to me. He was my best friend, twin brother, and partner in crime. He helped me come up with the products for the shop and new pranks. He was the other person in my duet and I really don't know how to go solo. I don't know if the weight will ever go away. Maybe it will get lighter. I don't know. I know I will never forget him. Every time I look in the mirror I see him. I see a memory of our life. I see mum chasing us around yelling at us to quit setting off dung bombs in the house. I can't stop seeing it. He meant the world to me and I would give anything to get him back. But, I know I can't so I will just have to move on. Problem is, I don't know how to erase who and what I've become and done in my whole life. My whole life has changed because of him. Everyone asked me if I liked being a twin and I said that I had nothing to compare it to. You could say that that's changed now but it hasn't. My whole life has been changed because of him and I can't undo it. I don't think that I would if I could. For the years that he was here he made my life worth so much more and gave me joy, and laughter, and happiness. I think he brought all of us these things. I guess we'll have to find new sources of laughter and joy but it will be hard. Everything will be hard but he would have wanted us to move on. Could someone please tell my heart that?"

I stepped down from the podium and returned to my seat. Every face in the audience now had tears streaming down it. I brought my knees up to my chest and let the grief take me.

I walked up to the casket and saw Fred with the smile still plastered on his face as it would be for the rest of forever. I decided to talk to him. I needed to say what I couldn't in my speech.

"Fred, you will always be in my heart. You were the most important thing in my life and I miss you so much. I can't breathe most of the time because I miss you so much. When I laugh or even just talk it feels so wrong without hearing you in the background. Everything is so hard to do because I remember doing it with you or think about what you are going to say next and I realize that I will never get to hear it. I miss your annoying voice. I miss your constant presence. I miss your jokes. I miss your everything. I just miss you so much. I don't know how to go solo. I want to separate myself from everyone so that I don't get hurt again. Please realize that I miss you so much. I will try and move on and be happy but I will always be reminded of you. I don't want to forget you. You have forever marked my life and nothing will be the same without you. Merlin I miss you. I will always miss you. I wish I died and not you. I wish I still had you. I miss you so much. I don't know how to live without you. I just don't. Can you please help me or send someone to help me figure it out. Is it even possible? Will I ever be able to go a day without crying? Will I ever be able to live again? When I look back on all the best times of my life you are always there. I remember everything we did together and I just can't forget it. I need you but I will never get you back. I really want you back"

We walked down the road to where he would be buried. It was a place behind the burrow where we could all visit whenever we want. I could see it from my bedroom in the burrow. The grave stone said.

_**Fred B. Weasley**_

_**Beloved Son, Brother, Twin, and Friend**_

"_**Do your worst Peeves"**_

_**Fred died fighting for the good in the second war against Tom Riddle. He died laughing in battle how he always wanted. He always brought laughter to all of us and we will forever remember and miss him. **_

As they lowered his casket into the ground I completely lost it. I fell to the ground and sobbed into my sleeve ruining my dress robes. I felt a girl wrap an arm around me as I sobbed. I didn't bother to see who it was but went into her outstretched arms and cried into her robes not caring that I was breaking down in public, just needing the warmth of whoever this was. She stroked my hair and my back sending me warming and safe feelings.

After a long while, I regained my cool and looked up at the person who sat on the ground with me for hours. I was shocked to see that it was Angelina.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." She replied.

I could see that she had been crying too. It looked almost as hard as mine.

"I'm here for you if you need someone. If you need to talk or cry or whatever I'm here."

"Thanks. Really, thank you.

"I didn't even see them put it- him in the ground" With those words I broke down again sinking to the ground. Angelina held me and stroked my back. I was so glad that she was here with me. I don't think I would have stopped crying without her.

"Thank you for being here." I told her. "Thank you for understanding." Then she asked me something totally unexpected.

"Did you know that I had a twin?"

I didn't so I replied, "Umm, no."

"Yeah, I did. She died when we were 9. It was three days before our tenth birthday. She never made it to double digits."

"I'm sorry. Were you guys close?"

"Very. We were a lot like you and Fred. We both played Quittich on the brooms that they have for little kids. She was always a little bit better than me.

"How did she die?"

"A muggle car ran over her. She ran out into the street to get our dog out of it. The car was speeding and didn't see her. If I hadn't forced her to do it then I would be the one that was dead and not her. I remember watching as the car crushed her. It haunted me for years. Sometimes I had to go out to the quittich pitch during the night to clear my head." At this point she started sobbing. I wrapped my arms around her wishing there was a way that I could make her feel better. I rubbed her back willing the tears to stop. Eventually the tears stopped and she sat wrapped in my arms for awhile. I felt okay for the first time since his death. I wasn't great but I felt okay. Just feeling okay was what I needed right then. I needed to be where I was. After sitting like that for a long time more we apparated back to the burrow. When we got there everyone was shocked to see Angelina but hugged me. During everyone else's hugs I kept hold of Angelina's hand drawing strength and safety from her touch. After all the hugs we went up to Fred and me's old bedroom. We sat on my bed and she laid her head on my chest. She looked up at me. Our lips were so close. Without my directions my head bent down to touch my lips to hers. An electric bolt went through my body when our lips touched. It made me feel strong like no other time I can remember. I suddenly forgot that my twin was buried today and could only focus on her soft, warm lips. Right now I needed her more than anything else. She wrapped her arms around my neck and flipped over so that she was on top of me. Her body was pressing against me and her lips were intoxicating. She pulled herself up so that her head was even with mine. I needed her more than anything else and I didn't care. After kissing for awhile she pulled away. I was disappointed but I knew why she did it.

"Sorry" I said although I didn't regret it at all.

"Don't be." She replied.


End file.
